A common thing that happens in my office every day is that I give people permission. I give them permission to take care of themselves first, to say no to things that drain their energy, to rest when they need, and permission to be who they really are.
This seems rather obvious and you may be rolling your eyes and thinking, ‘I don’t need permission for these things’. And, you don’t, really, yet most people I work with feel deep down like they do.
Here are 3 ways you can grant yourself permission:
1. Permission to say no
You know when you’re talking with someone and they ask you if you want to do something and you know immediately that you don’t want to do it? What often happens is that you say yes anyway. You ignore the ‘no’ and you say “yes”.
These are usually the times when you are miserable doing the thing, you cause a whole bunch of grief for your family, you get exhausted from doing it, etc.
What if (especially right now during these times), you only said “yes” when it’s a “heck yeah!”? You only say “yes” when you know with certainty that you want to do the thing.
If it’s not a “heck yeah!”, then it’s a “no”.
You don’t have to feel bad, worry that you’re disappointing people, or fear that people won’t like you.
You have permission to “just say no”. Period.
Try it and see how much better you feel inside yourself when you do this every time.
2. Permission to rest
We live in a culture that values hard work. Rest comes after you’ve proven that you worked hard enough and never before. We are trained that rest equals laziness. We value clean houses, perfect lawns, shapely bodies, and home cooked organic meals.
We don’t value rest.
Where in the world did this come from? Who decided this?
What if we valued listening to our body’s call for resting?
How much more productive would we be when we have energy if we rested when we don’t?
There’s a little voice inside of us that keeps repeating, ‘I’m so tired, I’m so tired’ or ‘I just need a break’ or ‘If only I could lie down for just a few minutes’. Yet, what do we do? We drink more coffee or a Red Bull, we eat some sugar, or we rally ourselves in some other day.
We don’t generally listen to that voice.
Now, if you’re like most people I know, a little rest goes a long way. Why not try resting when you get the cue that your body needs it?
I’d love to hear back from you about how much better you feel when you do this.
3. Permission to shine
I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve had other women say to me things like, “You have to be the perfect one” or “Way to make the rest of us look bad” or “Tone it down a notch”.
You know those times when you’re really excited about something, you’re in a great mood, or something wonderful has happened and you’re celebrating, and there’s that person that has to say the mean thing to take a little bit of it away from you?
I give you fill permission to stop listening to them (or to release them from your life if that’s better for you).
I’m not sure where this came from either. People (especially cis women) can’t stand it when someone else is happy or successful, so they say take a little jab to bring us down.
What if we all shined as brightly as we could? What if we stopped dampening our lights because they make others uncomfortable?
It’s a practice, for sure and it’s SO worth it!
You are special, you are beautiful, you are unique, and you are the ONLY YOU!
Shine brightly my friend and let’s all be part of supporting one another instead of brining one another down!
What permissions do you need in your life right now?
What would be better if you just started giving yourself permission now?
These types of conversations are typical in my integrative practice. I’d love to support you with a consultation soon, and please be sure to share this blog with others in your life who need to hear it, too.